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Things I've Found 57 (James Frey Should Take Up Horse Sex, Except He'd Lie About It)—1/14/2006

by Mark Rose

Should I even be posting this? http://flightaware.com/. This is a site allowing you to track any flight over the United States. Really, why do we need this again? Is this perhaps too MUCH information?

The News wakes up. The Seattle Times' columnist Danny Westneat writes a column on the top 20 stories actually clicked upon by users. It turns out that readers aren’t interested in negative news. What they really want is news on horse sex. http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2002711400_danny30.html. It’s interesting that of the top 20 stories, only one is war-related (and that’s about a popular local Congressman shifting his position on the war). One story is directly related to the botched gubernatorial election. The rest are about horse sex and mostly local concerns.

Talking Elmo asks you "Who Wants to Die?" Kid's mom is horrified to find altered Talking Elmo, with soundtrack.http://www.local6.com/news/5784303/detail.html

LEGO Factory: Love LEGOs? Want to play around with them but feel embarrassed at going into Target and buying big sets? LEGO now has a Factory module which is really amazing. Go here: http://www.lego.com/eng/factory/default.asp and download their LEGO Digital Designer software. You then build a 3-D model of your LEGO creation in the tool. Then you go back to the site, upload your creation, and share it with other LEGOmaniacs. You can buy individual customized kits based on your creation. Truly amazing, the Internet, eh?

Isaac Hayes rules as Jerome "Chef" McElroy on South Park. Here’s the full story of how he got involved and a nice potted bio: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/01/06/DDGTGGHS9F1.DTL. Chocolate salty balls, indeed.

Yet another dud pick from Oprah’s Book Club. Oprah needs better researchers. She finally picks a nonfiction book because it’s so filled with emotional moments, but it turns out to NOT BE TRUE. Yep, if you’ve heard of James Frey’s "A Million Little Pieces" (it’s been on the New York Times bestseller list at #1 for the past 15 weeks) and his supposed descent into alcoholism, drugs and crime, well, don’t bother getting it. It’s all a lie, or mostly lies. Why do people do this? Because they get success. Until someone finds them out. Then they get a lawyer. Scum. This is a long story but very thorough. Oprah, call me babe, I can find you better books. http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0104061jamesfrey1.html

And on the James Frey story, if you bought the book directly from Random House, they’ll give you a refund: http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/books/01/11/arts.frey.reut/index.html?section=cnn_topstories. Two things: one, how many people buy books directly from the publisher, and two, I LOVE the cover design of the book. It’s just very cool. Too bad the book’s a lie.

Man gets in box. Disappears inside box. Go ahead, watch it. You figure out how he did it. http://www.break.com/index/outsidethebox.html

This is one reason why Southwest Airlines makes money while the rest of them hemorrhage funds: we don’t get on the plane quick enough. http://www.usatoday.com/travel/news/2006-01-09-boarding-usat_x.htm Basically, the story notes that traditional back-to-front airplane boarding is too slow a method and causes delays. Airlines are now taking different boarding approaches. Some are calling all window passengers first, some are alternating back of plane, front of plane rows. It’s all in an effort to get our slow-moving butts into seats and the plane in the air quicker. United saves $1 million a year with their new system.

I have a BUNCH of foodies who read Things I’ve Found on a regular basis AND two registered dieticians. I wonder what they think of these sites. It’s actually kind of fun. You build your own virtual pizza or your own virtual salad and see how the nutritional and caloric stats fall out. Scary stuff, kids. http://people.bu.edu/salge/pizza/pizza/ AND http://people.bu.edu/salge/salad/salad_bar/.

The headline reads "Benihana shrimp toss cited in death." Part of the story reads: "...when Coalitis looked up from his dinner…to see a third sizzling-hot shrimp sailing at his head...". How can you NOT click on this important lawsuit link? http://www.newsday.com/news/local/longisland/ny-libeni0112,0,1719043.story?coll=ny-main-tabheads1

Here’s a tip you don’t get from just any online e-zine: Don’t Leave Delicious Cheese Out on the Coffee Table; It May Cost You Your Life. A story out of Memphis reported by KTHV in Little Rock, Arkansas (because they have the pictures) http://www.todaysthv.com/news/news.aspx?storyid=21696, indicates that 18-year-old Jessica Booth attempted to bribe an undercover police officer to perform a hit on four drug dealers. She said she had seen a large block of cocaine in the house. Ms. Booth, an aspiring model, wanted to split the drug proceeds with her hired killer in order to pay a modeling agency. The cop arrested her then searched the house. It wasn’t cocaine, it was bags of queso fresco, a tasty Mexican cheese.

So don't lie about your alcoholism and drug addiction, don't have sex with horses, and don't leave large bags of cheese out in plain sight of passersby. That's your tip for the day.