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Things I've Found 13 (Triskaidekaphobia!)—1/26/2002

by Mark Rose

Kentucky: Oh my God, I love Kentucky. Man accidentally shoots himself in showdown with. . . .a snowman: http://www.dailyindependent.com/010702/news/local/local8.html And loses. [Very sadly, this link went bad. Basically, the guy decided to do a quick draw with a snowman he had built, but somehow managed to shoot himself in the foot instead. It was the beginning of a semi-regular Kentucky feature.]

Uh Oh: O.J. Simpson’s ex-girlfriend Christie Prody was presumed missing with her apartment ransacked earlier this week.


But it turns out the woman was just a slob and horrible human being to boot since she deliberately left her cat to starve to death:


Sigh. What can one expect from an O.J. girlfriend? [First link is dead, second still lives. Amazing that OJ still walks free, isn’t it?]

Food: OK, most of you know I’m on the cusp of being a Luddite. The more technology in our lives, the less human we become. But here, THIS is a piece of fine technogadgetry. A wristwatch that can locate the four closest pubs for those of us who are thirsty:

http://www.silicon.com/bin/bladerunner?30REQEVENT=&REQAUTH=21046&14001REQSUB=REQINT1=50470 [It’s gone of course. The one piece of technology that would be worthwhile to have at all times. Sigh.]

And there’s more good news for those of us who drink. Now gin is on the list of approved longevity medications: http://www.boston.com/dailynews/023/region/101_year_old_credits_nightly_s:.shtml [I swear it’s a conspiracy that all positive alcohol stories are thrown into the dead slag link heap so inquisitive minds won’t be able to enjoy the true wonders of fermented or distilled beverages. You think the Grassy Knoll story was big? Hoo boy.]

Science: You know, I always knew that the trash compactor on the Death Star in the original Star Wars movie was a piece of crap hardware:


Insane Obsessiveness: When you’re watching TV or a movie and someone has to bring up a telephone number, for some reason, they always say the number out loud giving that stupid fake exchange. You know, “It’s 555-4783, Bill.” Why do they do that? We all know that the 555 exchange, outside of directory assistance, is a fake exchange deliberately created for Hollywood. Every time I hear a 555 number, it instantly destroys the fiction of the piece. But now, now! Now we know that there is a phone directory of every 555 number you’ve ever heard. Go ahead, contribute your favorites: