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Things I've Found 9 (Slow Day, Slow Week, Slow Down, Slow Hand, Slow Food)—12/7/2001

by Mark Rose

Chew Your Food Slowly: It’s been a slow week at Things I’ve Found central. And to honor that, we recommend: http://www.slowfood.com. Slow food, as opposed to fast food, was a movement started in Italy in 1986. It now boasts 60,000 members worldwide, magazines, books, and the aforementioned Web site. The goal is to get people to learn to taste, eat, and appreciate good food. Eating is love, sex, intimacy, it’s not pounding down whatever crap the General Mills of the world insist is food. Their manifesto says it best: “May suitable doses of guaranteed sensual pleasure and slow, long-lasting enjoyment preserve us from the contagion of the multitude who mistake frenzy for efficiency.” Well, there you go.

Ocean’s 11: I’m sure there’s a reason Julia Roberts is in this remake of one of the all-time classic retro swingers movies, but I can’t think of one. I know, the whole retro thing is kind of getting a little . . .well . . .retro itself. But damn it, there are still some cool things out there. Check out:

http://www.retrolounge.com — Cool bowling accessories and a wonderful martini olive side table.

http://www.kitschensync.co.uk[This site has died a sad, lonely death because people weren’t clicking on it and buying shit. I hope you’re happy now.] Note that’s “kitsch,” and not kitch. Much better, but in the UK so you’re dinged for shipping charges. Jesus and Mary money boxes, pooing pig keyrings, chrome kitchen tables that are way too expensive, and Satan’s own reindeer candle holder.

http://www.mcphee.com — If you live in Seattle, you know about this place. It’s still the best spot to shop for Christmas gifts, because things are a) inexpensive; b) generally neat to have around the house. From Senorita Misteriosa with her “Glow Atomic Dress” to Nunzilla to quart jars filled with those little toys you used to get in gumball machines to a lovely “Who Have You Exposed to Syphilis?” lunchbox, it’s all here. A must visit.

http://www.reprodepotfabrics.com — These guys don’t get enough press. As you’re reading this, I’m almost certainly wearing a Hawaiian shirt. And it might have come in its raw form from these fine purveyors of retro fabrics. They have tons of great styles from the 20s to the 50s, useful for any type of fabric project. Fast shipping too.

Literature Update: Ugh. My rave for John Meade Falkner is pretty much restricted to The Nebuly Coat. Am reading The Lost Stradivarius now, which is about the only book of his still in print. Don’t bother. Forced ghost story that doesn’t have the punch we come to expect. Looks like it’s used bookstores for Nebuly and his other title, Moonfleet.

From the Art World: Was British painter Walter Richard Sickert really Jack The Ripper? American mystery author Patricia Cornwell thinks so: http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_467675.html?menu=news.latestheadlines

Has This E-Zine Stopped Being Cool?: Not that it ever was in the first place, but I must apologize for the next links. Everyone and their mom pass around these personality quiz links. Yes, it’s old hat but these were kind of fun.

Which James Bond Villain Are You? http://www.physics.usyd.edu.au/~mar/villain.html [now at: http://quizilla.com/users/JDcompy/quizzes/Which%20James%20Bond%20Villain%20Are%20You!%3F/](Somehow, it turns out I’m Pussy Galore.)

Which Horrible Affliction Are You? http://shite.squirming.net/afflictiontest/ (Gonorrhea, actually. Hmm, this isn’t working out so well.)

Which Piece of Famous Art Are You? http://www.physics.usyd.edu.au/~mar/tests/art/(I am the aesthetic equivalent of da Vinci’s Mona Lisa; enigmatic, with no eyebrows.) [Link is dead, but this is similar: http://quizilla.com/users/xRabidGummiBearx/quizzes/which%20FAMOUS%20PAINTING%20are%20you%3F/, and check out www.quizilla.com for even more quizzes to waste your time.]

And, to take it to its logical conclusion, Which Online Personality Test Are You? http://homepage.ntlworld.com/paulspeller/onlinetest/

Finally: From the headline, to the VP of student affairs understatement of the year, to the activities of the man in question, this is my favorite news story of the week: “Nude rampage on campus” http://seattlep-i.nwsource.com/local/49684_tl207.shtml